A bodybuilder married his sex doll and now I’m scared about falling crazy with a Roomba

I never judge anyone when it involves love. I never thought someone married his sex doll.

Oh, I judge politics, attire, personality, table manners, hairdos, conversational skills, favourite Bond movies … but not love. Dickinson was right when she wrote, “The heart wants what it wants.”

But what if the guts wants a soulless soul mate? Why we cannot married his sex doll?

This was my first question after reading a recent story within the Daily Star: “Bodybuilder Finally Marries Beloved Sex Doll In groundbreaking .”

That bodybuilder is Yuri Tolochko of Kazakhstan.

His new bride is Margo of an unknown factory.

In a video the human groom shared on Instagram, scored to Maroon 5’s “Sugar,” the happy couple is at the altar. Well, he looks happy. She is staring into the center distance. during a black tux, Yuri nuzzles his nose into Margo’s synthetic cheek and slips a hoop on her stiff finger.
Tolochko, who appears to possess a shirt allergy, has documented his 18-month relationship with Margo on Instagram. In one photo, they’re in bed with a puppy that’s presumably not from Boston Dynamics. In another, Margo is sprawled on a wooden table with pizza slices covering her naughty bits. they’re during a ferry and nightclub, where they reportedly met.

(That doesn’t sound sort of a chance encounter — it seems like Yuri stole someone’s sex doll.)

But, whatever. As far as I can tell, Margo plays the accordion, is a fan of grunge wear and bikinis, sleeps with an eye fixed mask, enjoys bubble baths and wine , loves ugly Christmas sweaters, dabbles in BDSM and has had cosmetic surgery .

Margo isn’t Yuri’s wife. She may be a fantasy over which he exerts total control.

And I won’t mislead you: I’m now worried about marriage as we all know it.

Human relationships are hard. That’s because two hearts don’t always want an equivalent thing. i really like my wife. But if I ever got inspired by Tolochko and suggested she go skiing during a thong or allow me to use her naked torso as a buffet for a family dinner from Pizza Hut, i think this union would be over.

Now, i’m assuming this story isn’t fake news or an elaborate prank or performance art. the assembly values within the wedding video — the professional lighting, the fast cuts, the just about scripted, slo-mo reactions of guests — certainly leave me skeptical. But let’s assume a hirsute bodybuilder fell crazy with a sex doll and that they are starting a replacement life together.

Should this not be a warning for what the longer term might hold?
Developing a romantic attraction to an inanimate object, or objectophilia, may be a rare phenomenon. There was the lady who “married” the Eiffel Tower . The dude who got smitten with a Nintendo character. the woman who fell crazy with the Berlin Wall. I seem to recall hearing a few torrid affair between a person’s and a Boeing 747. or even it had been a roller coaster. No, i feel it had been a beanbag chair.

But back within the day, the weirdos who attached with table lamps or barbecue covers were mostly limited to like interests during a low-tech world. But now? Advances in AI and human realism are eerie. I’m telling you, once developers master ambulation and teach female sex dolls to form meatball subs or love watching football, that’s a wrap.

If there have been an available male sex doll that was an honest listener who never left dirty linen outside the hamper, my wife would go away me tomorrow. then I’d be back within the dating scene. Personally, I’d haven’t any interest during a sex doll. By the time I’m done work, helping the youngsters with homework and tending to my 21-year-old cat, I’m bagged.

But what if I developed feelings for my Nespresso or Panasonic microwave? The three beeps at the top of a high cycle almost sound sort of a cheery, “Dinner’s ready!” And now that we’ve been conditioned to social distancing, might I start to ascertain that La-Z-Boy as sexy? If something new came into my life that promised to ease my chores, would I find myself on bended knee proposing to a Roomba?

Love is blind, yes. But what if it doesn’t need a pulse within the future?
Tolochko believes we should always talk less and connect more. I’m unsure he’s right. My wife never shuts up and that i adore the way she runs her yap. Honestly, it’s like I’m married to a podcast. She could turn an Amazon delivery into a two-hour soliloquy.

And that’s what makes me sad for this Kazakhstan bodybuilder.

What happens if Yuri eventually falls for a true woman? Does Margo get mothballed during a box up the attic? Will he still creep up to nuzzle her cheek? Will he even be capable of getting a relationship with someone during which he not has total control?

All of this sounds ridiculous, I know. But it’s less ridiculous than it had been a year ago.

And mark my words, it’ll be even less ridiculous a year from now.

In one photo, Margo is at the salon as a hairdresser cradles her pink locks beforehand of a styling. Yuri holds her wrist and stares into the center distance.

He looks lost.